Out of Touch Parents

This question comes from a younger friend of mine who has been having problems with her parent's separation anxiety. She says that they still try to control her life and tell her what to do, even though she is trying to become an adult in the university.

My advice; don't let them tell you. This may be easier said then done, because a part of us will always be yearning for our parents' approval on our lives, but you are not a child any more and you are capable of taking care of yourself.

One way to do this is just not tell them things that you're doing until you've already done them. This way they can't tell you to not do it, and in the end they'll see that you're fine and that there was no point to worrying anyways. But this might work for other situations better than others. For instance; "Hey mom, I went on a trip to the city this weekend with my roommates, it was great!" as opposed to "Daddy, check out my tattoo!" This may be difficult for some to do however because it feels like lying or sneaking around. In that case, I would suggest not asking them, but telling them. Tell them that you're going to do something. Don't make it sound like you're asking for their approval on what you're doing, but in fact you are doing them a favor by telling them what you are doing with your life.

College can be an awkward time for child/parent relationships because the child is no longer emotionally dependent on the parent, but their kid is still using their money. Be patient with them, because you know they've been patient with you through out the years, and give them time to realize how mature you've become, and how much you've grown as an individual.